My Elementary School Struggles

I struggled in elementary school. I don’t remember seeing this, but my Mom told me that when I wrote my writing was backwards. I don’t think dyslexia was a diagnosis while I was still in elementary school. They didn’t know what my deal was but suffice it to say I had some major learning issues. I struggled with reading. I couldn’t comprehend anything. I wrote backwards; it was a frustrating time in my life.

They took me to several different specialists to try and figure out what the deal was, but no answers. By the time I turned 10 in 1968, I had seen at least four Bar Mitzvahs. The four people that come to mind are my two brothers and a couple of my parents’ close friends’ kids. My big day was still three years away, which at 10 seems like forever. However, I still couldn’t speak a word of Hebrew. Being that it was three years out I wasn’t stressed, but the outlook didn’t look good for the home team. 

Valley School

I somehow made it through elementary school and it was time for Jr. High. There was a new school in Flint in 1970 called “The Valley School” which was an alternative education school. It wasn’t a private school but anyone in Flint could go there no matter where you lived. Unlike other public schools with specific districts. Now, since The Valley School was an alternative form of education they had a whole different way of teaching.

I don’t remember learning anything there. 🤣 When I started there in September of 1970 that put my Bar Mitzvah less than a year out. I still couldn’t speak Hebrew and the heat was on. My parents got me a tutor because it was obvious that there was no way I could learn what I needed to know to get through the ceremony. 

Time to throw in the towel

Having a tutor I believe gave me a glimmer of hope. I’m thinking I had six months to get it figured out. However, I wasn’t gaining much traction. I think after a couple of months I could read a few words here and there. I was getting extremely anxious. The clock was ticking, and ticking fast. I was nowhere close to being where I needed to be with learning what I needed to know.

This was a train wreck waiting to happen. I wanted to throw in the towel about four months out, but my parents wouldn’t let me. I agreed to keep trying but I’m sure when I came home each night after my Tudor lesson I complained and whined about the lack of progress I was making. I’m guessing I eventually wore my parents out and they were probably sick of hearing me whine and complain about my ineptitude in learning Hebrew.

It was somewhere around the three-month mark when the decision was made that I wasn’t going through with my Bar Mitzvah. At 13 years old, that was the happiest day of my life! The weight of the world was lifted off my back! I can live again. I never thought about this at the time, but I’m thinking that was a big disappointment for my parents. I think I was the only kid at our synagogue that didn’t get Bar Mitzvahed at that time. 

Now What?

After a few weeks, the euphoria wore off from throwing in the towel on my Bar Mitzvah. I wasn’t getting the cellophane bag of $100 bills from my grandfather. I wasn’t getting any other gifts. I wasn’t having a big Bar Mitzvah party. It was bittersweet for sure. But I think it also cemented in my mind how I felt about the religion which was all negative. Between what my Gentile friends always talked about regarding Jesus and the whole Judaism thing I didn’t want anything to do with any religion. I wanted to wash my hands of any religioius banter. 

Conclusion

My learning disability won the war in 1971. I got knocked down and didn’t get back up. My insecurities and the fear of “What would everyone think” when I completely had a meltdown on the pulpit got the best of me. At this point in my life, I don’t care what anyone thinks of me or what they say behind my back. When I was 13 that stuff mattered and the last thing I wanted to do was melt down on the pulpit. However, knowing what I know now, I wish my parents held my feet to the fire and made me follow through with it. Lesson learned.